Chivalry and dating etiquette
And, in my humble opinion, it’s drastically unfair that men are required to hold up all the responsibility throughout the dating spectrum.Men have to pay, must always open doors, must always pick the women up and take them home, and whilst I think that’s lovely, surely we’re beyond that point now?Instead of being thankful, she was actually miffed and sarcastically ridiculed him for being drenched and embarrassing her at the restaurant.They say that chivalry is dead, but to be fair, so are the days when a woman spent most of her time devoted to her man.It’s great when you’re dating someone who cares about you, so realistically, they would of course ensure you get home safe, and do things for you.But it should be because they want to, not because they feel somewhat obliged to. I’ve taken my partner on dates, I get him silly little presents, I don’t ask for things. Of course, he does the same for me, and I appreciate it and love it, but at least I know he’s doing it out of love, not necessity, or fear of a huge bitch fit if he doesn’t deliver.
Chivalry can be dated back to the mid-twelfth century and while early codes focused on mares of the equine variety and included tips on how to wear your armour, today chivalry is about how a man treats a woman. We men would love a bit of attention to be focused on us in a similar way from time to time (and indeed with modern chivalry doors should get held open by whoever reaches them first… Due to this complete lack of knowing what is now acceptable, men now can be seen on dates awkwardly and clumsily sitting down first - before the lady - knowing that they have just committed a faux pas but have at least avoided an argument.
Lately, I have found myself caving in to hours of reality dating shows, specifically MTV’s “Are You the One.” Strangely, I could relate to the women on the show, most of them my age, who are passed on from man to man because none of them are able to commit to just one woman. Half of us want to fight for love and the other half run for the hills the moment the opportunity of love arises.
Then, there is the weird limbo where you do not know which to choose. You get along, you talk about your hopes and dreams, your ticks and fears, but you are not allowed to get attached. After countless left swipes on Tinder, fifty failed first dates, you finally meet someone you like.
You hear it all the time from women, complaining how chivalry is dead nowadays, that men don’t understand what we really want out of a relationship. Of course chivalry is dead; it’s an outdated code used by medieval knights, for crying out loud, not a modern day code on dating etiquette.
Why is there so much pressure on men to be measured against an unattainable goal?
Being a gentlemen, on the other hand, is not an outdated practice.